


Not an Exit, but a Reprieve

by deluxemycroft



Series: Ouroboros [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dark Thor, Gen, M/M, a conversation in a kitchen, bros baring emotions and nothing more because they are bros only, mention of past strangefrost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-26 14:44:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deluxemycroft/pseuds/deluxemycroft
Summary: Steve gives.Loki turns away.A Captain and a soldier have a conversation.





	Not an Exit, but a Reprieve

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place right before the last scene of 'until the break of dawn'. it's necessary to read the preceding fics in this series to understand and have context for this.
> 
> this was a scene i tried to fit into utbod and/or ‘still i rise’ and it just Wouldn’t Go so i decided to make it its own small thing. 
> 
> no warnings here, just two bros talkin

Clint offered Steve a beer and Steve shook his head. Clint shrugged and grabbed himself one before joining Steve at the kitchen table, using the edge of the table to pop the top off and then he took a long drink. Steve sighed, rubbing at his forehead. He looked exhausted. Clint had seen Steve fall and fall and fall and always stand back up, no matter the war, no matter the battle, no matter the enemy, but it was Loki turning away from him that he couldn’t take. Clint knew it, Steve knew it, Loki was refusing to.

He’d gone to talk to Loki an hour ago and Loki had used the Tesseract to vanish out of bed and Steve just couldn’t take anymore. He’d done everything he could think of, done everything _right_, and Loki had still turned away from him.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Steve told him, and Clint nodded.

“Figured as much,” Clint replied. He took another drink of his beer.

“Did he read the letter?”

“I gave it to him,” Clint said. “Didn’t stick around to see what he did with it. You talk to Barnes?”

Steve’s eyes followed the bottle in Clint’s hand as he took another drink, and then Clint got up and got him a glass of water, Steve gratefully taking it. “Talking to him tomorrow. I told him a little, that it didn’t have to change anything, but I wanted to read that book Hjalmar gave me first.”

“Good idea,” Clint said. “I...Cap, it wasn’t supposed to go like this. It just doesn’t make _sense._”

Steve sighed, put his head in his hands. “I’m tired, Clint,” he replied through his palms. “All I wanted was to be married, to give the both of us something definitive to hold onto. Haven’t we _earned_ it?”

“If anyone has, it’s the two of you,” Clint affirmed. 

They sat in silence while Steve gathered himself back up. He took in a deep breath and looked at Clint, who offered him a weak smile. “What did the soul seeking potion show you?”

“Loki and Stephen Strange. I don’t know what it means, not sure if it even does mean anything.” 

Steve winced then dragged his hand down his face. “Do you think...do you think Loki is meant to be with him? With Strange?”

Clint thought about it. He knew what Steve wanted to hear—_No, Cap, of course not, you know Loki only has eyes for your star-spangled ass_—but he didn’t even know if there was an answer. Finally, he replied, “I think he’s the only one that can make that decision. I’ve seen his soul, I know that it’s tied tighter to you than it ever was to Strange. Even tighter than the soulbond he had with Thor.” Something about that made a thought twist up at the back of his brain, something about soulbonds, but it faded away before he could grab it. He was missing something, he just knew it. “But I’m gonna tell you one thing, Cap, and I want you to hear me loud and clear: Loki loves you. Someone like him doesn’t ask their King to marry them without being dead fuckin’ serious. So, I think you just have faith, and he’ll come back to you.”

Steve nodded and took in a deep, shuddering sigh. “I saw Thor, funnily enough,” he said with a tired chuckle. “Scared the hell outta me. He was standing on some planet, just standing there, not doing anything. It seemed like he was waiting for someone. It felt like I was standing there with him for hours, then there was a noise, and when I turned to look at it, I was back in Hjalmar’s cabin. I kept waiting for him to see me.”

Clint rubbed at his chin. “Huh.” He certainly hadn’t been expecting that. “Loki saw me saying shit to him that I’d never say in a 1000 years.” They hadn't talked about it but Clint had tried to reassure Loki again that he wasn't secretly plotting Loki's downfall or whatever. Loki's vision had probably just enhanced Loki's fear that everyone was planning on leaving him or whatever.

“I thought it was supposed to help, not make everything even more confusing,” Steve muttered. “I read about it in that book, it was supposed to show you your soulmate.” He paused, fiddled with his glass, then nervously glanced around the kitchen like he was making sure no one was listening in. Clint schooled the amusement off his face by the time Steve looked back at him. "I...I thought I was in love with him, you know. Bucky. And I think I was. I had him when there wasn't anything else. But that's _nothing_ compared to how I feel for Loki, so I can't see how I can be more connected to Buck than I am to Loki. I know who my endgame is here. There's no comparison." 

Clint nodded, not really sure what to say to that. “You still have that book?”

Steve shook his head. “It vanished right when I finished it. Should’ve taken notes or something.” He took a sip of his water and then stared into the glass. “It didn’t say what it would show you if you didn’t have a soulmate, though.”

“You have one, though,” Clint pointed out. “You should’ve seen Barnes.”

“Maybe Thor was my soulmate in another dimension,” Steve muttered. “I don’t know how any of this shit works, Clint. I just want Loki back.”

“I know,” Clint sighed. “I’ll talk to him.”

“You’re the only one he listens to anyway.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes and then Clint said, “Going back to the Avengers Facility?”

“Yeah. They’re sending a Quinjet for me in the morning.”

“You could stay,” Clint offered. “I have an extra guest room that Wilson and Barnes aren’t using. Hell, you can have my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch or on the floor or whatever. Cap, c’mon—”

Steve held up a hand. “Clint,” he interjected, and Clint’s jaw clicked shut. “It goes against every damn instinct I have to leave. I don’t _want_ to. I want to stay here and figure this out. But I know Loki well enough to know that’s only going to push him further away. He runs, right? That’s his instinct. So I won’t give him a reason to. And even with this United Nations thing coming up, if the Accords happen this time, I’m still Captain America. I still have responsibilities and a job to do. There isn't a fight here, Clint.”

Clint gave him a considering look. “That’s a lot smarter than what I was expecting from you,” he finally said. Steve snorted at him. “I don’t know if its the right decision, but there’s worse ones you could be making, for sure.”

“What’s Loki thinking?”

“Oh, you know I can’t say anything, Cap, even to you.”

Steve nodded. “Good,” he sighed out. He paused and then reached out a hand, resting it on Clint’s. “I’m glad he has you, Clint.” Clint met his searching gaze. “What would you do?”

“I’m not sure,” Clint replied after thinking about it for a minute. “I don’t think there’s a right decision,” he finally decided on. “I think it could break bad either way. You stay, he runs to the other side of the galaxy. You leave, he thinks you’ve abandoned him. He’s not—he wouldn’t talk about it either way, I don’t think. I think you have to think about yourself right now, Cap. Loki is going to do whatever Loki is going to do, regardless of you.”

Steve nodded. “I miss him,” he muttered. “I really miss him. We never should’ve gone to Asgard.” Well, there wasn’t any part of Clint that disagreed with that.

Clint ducked his chin. “I’ll talk to him,” he said again. “We’ll get this figured out.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks, Clint.” He patted the back of Clint’s hand and stood up.

“Of course, Steve.”

He watched as Steve left the kitchen and took slow, measured steps upstairs. Clint got the rest of the six-pack out of the fridge and sat back down and didn't let himself think of anything else as he finished the rest of them.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and review!
> 
> follow me:  
tumblr: @deluxemycroft  
twitter: @whenhedied


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